Ok, so it wasn’t quite the flight from hell, but it was pretty bad…

It all starts when we get to the check in desk at Vancouver International Airport.. ah, YVR, how I love thee.. The woman tip tip types away and prints our boarding passes.. then realises that they’re not adjacent.. in fact, they’re nowhere near each other! Now I can see how that might be beneficial if you’re a family of 4, at each others throats, and feeling more frantic than festive.. But this was not the case here - we actually wanted to sit together!

She umms and ahhs and types the same thing in to the computer a whole bunch of times.. I ask if there’s a problem.. apparently, seat 2H is showing as reserved and she can’t change it. Relevance? It’s meant to be my seat - along with 2G.. We end up getting moved to row 41, which isn’t the biggest deal in the world, but the point was we’d paid extra for assigned seating and now we’re sitting somewhere else.. oh well, something else to add to the refund they’ve already said they’re giving us for having changed the aircraft and not having premium class available on the flight any more.

Finally we’re sorted, boarding passes in hand.. we hang out with Josh for a bit (he took us to the airport - star!) then say our goodbyes and head through security.. I feel I should tangent here briefly to talk about security and what a joke it is.. like, seriously.. if “those people” are determined enough, they’re gonna do what they’re gonna do, right? Checking belt buckles with a metal detector and getting me to take my shoes off are more hassle and inconvenience than major leaps and improvements in security.. I’m sure my laptop security cable (twisted metal strands type thing) or even a decent length of dental floss would prove more risky (can you say “garotte”?).

Anyway.. flying economy sucks generally, but when the seat pitch is 30 inches (30 fucking inches! - Fuck, I’ve seen battery hens with more bloody leg room!), the drinks aren’t complimentary (not even soft drinks), the flight is over an hour late leaving, and the screaming kids just won’t stop screaming.. yeah, that pretty much makes for “the flight from hell” in my books!

The change of aircraft on the route meant the flight left late. It was going to be a tight squeeze in London to get the connecting flight on to Jersey. Leaving Vancouver late meant that we were probably going to miss our connecting flight. And we did. No biggy, we’ll upgrade to the next flight in 3 hours time right? Sure, for a £25 per person “change fee” coupled with a £87.50 “upgrade charge”. Holy fuck, did I just get bent over and shafted with a traffic cone?! Isn’t that price pretty close to the full fare ticket price? Apparently not, that would be closer to £140 each I’m told.. Yeah right!

But.. whatever.. point was, we got here. In one piece. Knackered and a bit out of sorts, sure, but we got here. The big questions right now are how do we sort out an insurance claim for the extra cash I’ve had to fork out, and is it worth switching to a regular airline for the return flight, not some cheapy charter with shite service and crap seats? I’m thinking it is.. just have to see how it works with refunds from the original place + insurance coverage etc.. gotta love long haul flights.. NOT!