My World

After Canadian Affair screwing around on our flights, I booked with Zoom to fly back. They had premium class available, and it was a direct flight (compared to the via Calgary option offered by Canadian Affair). Nice comfy seats, a decent amount of leg room, and they showed 4 (count ‘em - four!) movies during the flight, pretty much back to back. I watched them all and read my magazine, talked to the woman next to me a bit (British, midwife living in Comox, been in Canada 10 years, very nice) as Brian was sitting in the row in front of me.

Bit of hassle at Vancouver - they couldn’t get the sky bridge to mate with the plane so we had to get pushed away from the gate and pulled to the next gate over. By the time all this was complete, our luggage was in the reclaim hall. We breezed through customs and immigration, grabbed out suitcases, and met up with Brian’s parents who gave me a lift home.

This really is a pedestrian entry eh? Did I need to blog it? Probably not.. meh, I’m tired, jet lagged, and frigging the date/time of posting for the last time before I call it a night and hit the sack :-)

So.. after the stress of new year’s eve, and the trauma of my adventure on the waltzer the next day, it was time to leave Jersey and head to London. What did we get up to then? All sorts!

Science Museum: We hit the Science Museum having had a bit of a rushed/hurried visit there last year. Despite that, we really didn’t spend that much time there or look at that much. A quick whiz round the interesting stuff, checked out the Aliens special exhibit which was pretty cool, and also watched a couple of IMAX 3D films, Aliens Of The Deep and The Polar Express, both of which were really good.

Natural History Museum: I enjoyed the stuff to do with the earth and geography, geology etc. Brian loved the dinosaurs. We both liked the Wildlife Photographer of the Year exhibition. Good times all round.

Movies: Sure, it cost double what it would have cost to see Brokeback Mountain in Vancouver, but that’s the price of movies in Leicester Square in London. The movie was really good. Ignore all the “it’s a gay cowboy flick” propaganda and go check it out. Sure, there were a lot of gay guys and couples in the audience when we saw it, but there were quite a few girls with their boyfriends too (or were those guys just the gay best friends of the girls?). I should write a proper review cos it really was a cool movie.

Shopping: New socks, 14 pairs! New jeans! New tops! And a new mobile phone! HMV, Harrods, Krispy Kreme - uh Uh UH hot fresh donuts to die for, it’s like eating fresh air, but with more calories ;-) Stopped by Hamleys too, but it didn’t seem to have as much appeal as when we were there last year.

The Lion King: Wow. Let me say it again: WOW. That show is AWESOME! My parents got us tickets for Christmas and I was blown away by it. The costumes were fantastic, the stage/set/scenary was awesome. I’m starting to think that I may have a slight liking of the theatre/performing arts. Is it the gene? Who knows.. but if you get a chance to see The Lion King, go for it!

Massage: We stayed at the Kensington Close hotel and spa and decided we’d splash out and get a relaxation massage. Was it relaxing? No, not really. I think my massage was more of a deep tissue massage, and Brian’s masseuse starting chatting away to him half way through.. not exactly relaxing is it? Oh well, chalk another one up to British standards eh?

London Eye: We would have gone on the London Eye, but it was closed. For annual maintenance. Open again 2 days after we left. DOH! Didn’t they know we were in town?!

Tate Modern: After taking the underground to what we thought was the right stop (ok, ok, it was me who thought it was the right stop), we realised we were in for a bit of a hike to get to where we wanted to be. Undaunted, we strode on and got there eventually. Pretty cool, some nice exhibits and stuff. I took a couple of pictures which I should probably upload at some point. Maybe I’ll do a photoblog entry later in the week with the highlights of the trip.

I’m sure I’ve missed a few details.. I’ll come back and amend this entry if needed when I remember other stuff we did.

There was a fun fair down at the Waterfront over the Christmas period. We went for a look around on new year’s day. We went on the dodgem cars and got jostled around by a couple of chavvy teenagers who were hell bent on slamming in to me and Brian at every opportunity. They’ll be brutal when they’re old enough to drive on the roads, I’m sure…

There was a waltzer there too.. you know, the ride where you sit in a round thing, that spins round on its central axis whilst simultaneously going round on a larger circular track thing that goes up and down. Now I’ve never been on one before - I think the closest thing I’ve been on is the Alice In Wonderland (maybe?) tea cups ride at Disney in Florida - and it’s fair to say that I will never go on one again. It was seriously one of the scariest experiences of my life and I totally freaked out. In the interests of your entertainment, I’ll describe the experience in detail…

Brian suggests we go on it.. I’m not overly keen but I’ve seen it in action and it doesn’t look too bad (oh how wrong could I be?!). We get on and sit there, waiting for the ride to start. And we wait. And we wait. Then some bloke comes round and collects our tokens and the ride starts. And I freak. And I mean really freak. Primal screaming, total panic, complete trauma.

It starts off spinning around.. and it’s ok.. ish.. for a few seconds.. then the car thing we’re sitting in spins.. and it’s kind of fast, with harsh g-force, spinning round in a tight circle whilst moving in a larger circle, and going up and down at the same time. I’m tense, not enjoying it, kinda screaming, eyes shut, brain hurting with the sensory overload. The car spins a bit less, then speeds up, then slows down, but I’m not having fun and I want it to stop. I’m screaming, verging on hysteria.. then the bloke who’s walking round giving the cars a little extra push to make them spin round faster comes and gives ours a right shove, sending it spinning at space shuttle escape orbit g-forces that are all well and good for NASA trained astronauts who have spend hours in the spinny centrifugal g-force trainer machine but way too much for this boy. Common sense and reasoning are left far behind, I’m tense, limbs rigid, screaming, gripping the safety bar for dear life, and wanting the ride to stop. Which it does.. earlier than the scheduled ride duration, I have no doubt. I think they were kind of worried by the crazy guy chucking a mental and shrieking like a deranged banshee.

The ride stops, we get off, and I feel weird. Like really weird. My legs feel all numb and tingly, like I can’t walk straight. I feel a bit shakey all over, and kinda zoned out a bit. Brian’s in a bit of a state too, not quite sure what’s just happened, never having seen me freaking out like I just did. We go for a walk around the block and on the way back to the car park pass a couple of punk kids who couldn’t have been much older than 12 or 13 who I think were on the ride when we got off. “Why did you get off the ride?” one of them asks. “Oh it was just a bit too much for us” Brian replies (nicely not blaming his weak sappy boyfriend for being such a wuss). “Oh.. My.. GOD!” the punk says, rolling his eyes. Fucking asswipe - I was traumatised you little shit! Oh well.. onwards and upwards.. I think we now all know that Paul doesn’t do rides that are too wild with it..

The thing is.. I’ve been on rides before.. and I can deal where it’s being thrown around a little bit in small bursts.. I’ve been on Thunder Mountain at Disney (but not sure if I’d say I enjoyed it).. I’ve been on the Terminator 3 ride at Universal.. or something.. something with a big water floom drop thing at the end anyway.. and I can deal.. cos it’s stomach-in-mouth make it stop make it stop make it stop for all of about 6 seconds then it’s over. But being thrown around in three dimensions, continuously? No. Definitely not. Call me a poof, whatever. You go have your brain damaging fun and I’ll be the one standing there when you get off, holding your coat.

Ah new year’s eve.. that night of the year where the pressure’s on, the pressure to have the best night of your life ever, EVER, part 7. I’ve had good nights out, average nights out, and ones in between. Maybe I’m getting old but I’m much more up for staying in, hanging out with friends, having a few drinks and nibbles, rather than heading out to a pub or club, paying £20+ just to get in to some place then forking out for drinks on top of that.

Not long after I got back to Jersey, Glen asked me what I was doing for new year’s eve. He said he and Rebecca had no plans either but that Martin had suggested a get together at their place (Glen and Rebecca’s, that is) and the more Glen thought about it, the more appealing the idea was.. so that was that, the new year’s eve plan was a bunch of people round at Glen and Rebecca’s for booze, nibbles, chat, and games. Sorted!

And for the most part it was a good night.. Glen and Rebecca (obviously!), me and Brian, Rob and Sam, Martin, Andy du Feu, Katie Skinner, Nick Collins (don’t ask me why some people get full name mentions and others don’t - it’s just a thing I do!). We checked out the Now Music DVD quiz, which didn’t really impress anyone. We played the Who Wants To Be A Millionaire DVD, which was good for a laugh. We played charades which was fun - first time I’ve ever played it. I had to do “The Shawshank Redemption” and was able to get the name across pretty well - ask me for a repeat performance next time you see me ;-)

Midnight came, kisses were exchanged all round, we watched some of the London fireworks on the TV, which were pretty impressive. They had fireworks firing from the London Eye and all along the Embankment - it went on for about 10 minutes and cost over £1 million apparently. Time ticked on, we got tired, Rebecca offered to give us a lift home, and that’s where things turned sour :-(

Earlier in the evening there’d been a discussion about tit size and Brian had copped a feel of Katie’s and Sam’s tits. At the end of the night, we’re leaving, saying goodbyes, and I cop a feel too.. Rob gets all serious and says it’s disrespectful, touching up his girlfriend when he’s sitting right there etc. I apologise, but he’s having none of it, which meant I left with a bit of a bad taste in my mouth. I decided to let it lie, go with the “space and time” option, and deal with it when I’m back in Vancouver. As it was, Rob left Jersey the next day, and we left the day after to head to London.

A week on and I’m home, back in Vancouver, with an apologetic email sent. New year’s eve 2005 - definitely a memorable one. Hmm.

So what else did I get up to while I was in Jersey? I’m writing this a week after the event and frigging the posting date/time, but I think I still have most of it fairly fresh in my memory..

Swimming: We went swimming at the Aqua Splash leisure pool place.. and saw Pippa Le Cornu there both times.. Out of the 90,000 people on the rock, what are the chances of seeing the same person (or people - she had her son in tow both times too) in the same place as the same time that you’re there?!

Shopping: Far too many trips to town.. and not that much bought really.. I got some nice new tops from Next.. a couple of DVDs.. Strawberry Nesquik.. can’t think what else.. I got Matthew a Nintendo DS for Christmas, did I mention that already?

Bowling: We went bowling twice and had a good laugh both times.. I think I got 106 or 107 the first time, and 99 the second time (oooh SO close to the magic 100!). I gotta say, I really like 10 pin bowling.. I just wish the balls had better fitting finger holes..

Sight Seeing: A walk along St Brelades Bay. A drive down the Five Mile Road (which is actually 3.8 miles long - not that I measured it, but I know that from when I used to live in Jersey). A bacon roll at El Tico. A cheese burger from the Big J. A walk around Fort Regent (with Brian incredulous that there could ever have been fun fair type rides there). Being able to see the French coastline from St Catherine’s Breakwater but not walking far along it due to freezing cold mardy weather.

Absent Friends: For the second year running I didn’t manage to catch up with Craig. BZZZZT. I also didn’t manage to catch up with some people I used to work with, including Alison, Roz, and Josephine. I bumped in to Tessa in the street the day before she left for the UK and didn’t manage to catch up with her a week later when she was back. Oh well.. next time eh?

First off, I just realised - I never changed the date/time on my previous postings.. which means they’ve got PST date/time stamps whereas I’m in the UK and on GMT time.. oh well.. I’ll frig it on this one and maybe go back and change it on the previous ones.. which immediately makes this whole paragraph redundant.. Fuck!

So.. Christmas Day.. how was it for you? For me it was pretty good.. more or less what I expected.. the immediate family stuff was very nice.. the extended family + lunch thing was “entertaining” (as was expected).

My parents got us all stockings filled with bits and pieces, a bit of a family tradition. Brian got one too and was chuffed to bits! There was the obligatory satsuma (which usually gets returned to the bowl along with the others), the traditional chocolate coins, some cologne, some hair stuff, some knick-knack bits and pieces..

We did the family gift exchange and I think everyone did well. I got a bunch of new tops, some really good DVDs (new Little Britain, series 3 of Teachers (yay!)), a new winter coat (really nice, from Next!). I gave my brother a Nintendo DS plus a couple of games and the system seems cool - Brian’s been playing it more than Matthew has, so far! My parents got me and Brian tickets to go see The Lion King when we’re in London the week after next - I was totally chuffed to bits, that was a really nice present! :-)

The extended family turned up, we exchanged gifts, and sat down to Christmas lunch. During the process Matthew knocked over a glass of wine which went flying, all over one of Aunty Pauline’s chairs, which was kind of funny because she’d only just taken the protective plastic covering off them.. oh well, at least it was white wine..

Dinner over, we vegged and chilled a bit.. The rellies went home around 6ish, we all chilled and vegged some more. 7pm was the Doctor Who Christmas day special - result! That show is cheesy porn but so good with it! It’s the kind of thing that you see in a totally different light if you’re British and/or grew up with it versus if you’re not and you’re watching it for the first time or haven’t followed it much. The really cool thing came afterwards - Sky Interactive is a feature of Sky, the digital satellite system in the UK. While you’re watching a show or a commercial you’ll see a little icon or message on the screen telling you to press the red button on your remote control for more info. You press it, and it can do anything from popping up more detailed information, to capturing your details and getting a brochure sent to you in the mail, to launching a fully interactive application. Seriously, television in the UK is light years ahead of anything in North America!

After Doctor Who there was an interactive prompt on the screen. We pressed the red button and it launched in to this mini game where you had to be the Doctor’s assistant and solve puzzles and stuff.. We all sat round doing it, debating whether it was actually more entertaining the than the previous hour’s show itself..

I think that’s about it.. No major drama, just some regular, to-be-expected family banter along with a sigh of relief when everyone went home and we could chill and relax a bit more. All seemed to fly by rather quickly and here we are, Boxing day already..

(date/time frigged so this shows up in the right place)

It’s kind of tradition back home that on Christmas Eve you go to the pub with your mates and have a few drinks. It’s a nice sort of round up to the end of all the Christmas preparations, before you do the whole family Christmas Day thing the next day. So, in true traditional fashion, we went out drinking on Christmas Eve!

Me and Brian hit The Original Wine Bar and waited for the others to turn up (being late is also a great tradition, apparently?). Rob’s girlfriend Sam turned up with her friend Katie who I vaguely know from ages ago - she was feeling a bit worse for wear having been drinking since lunchtime. Rob turned up with Glen, then we found Martin and Nick Collins (that’s “Martin” and “Nick Collins”, not “Martin and Nick Collins”, which makes me wonder why I use some people’s full name but not others).

We had a few drinks, chatted up a storm, then moved on.. There was a queue for Chambers, so we hit the Lamplighter, had a drink there, hung around for a bit.. Martin had gone off to meet Anitha at The Bar so we headed over there, via The Wharf for a quick one (rude not to). A quick drink at The Bar because they were closing at 11 and we’d arrived there at 10:50.. then we went to Mint which used to be Babylon, next to Folies, which is now Platinum (are you following this?). It was a bit loud and rowdy in there (or am I just showing my age?). Saw my brother in there, he managed to con a drink out of me.. Andy gave me and Brian a much appreciated lift home just after midnight, and that was that - traditional drinking on Christmas Eve complete, mission accomplished.

Brian was a bit boozed up, and felt a bit worse for wear the next morning.. which he couldn’t understand as he hadn’t had that much to drink.. 4 and a half beers I think? Must be the strength eh - English beer is “proper” beer compared to North American beer? *shrugs* I dunno - I’m more of a vodka’n'7 kinda guy, but that said I did have a few beers on Saturday night - go figure!

So here we are.. Christmas eve.. already! Wow! Am I all set for Christmas? Yeah, pretty much.. I think I’ve got all my presents sorted.. well, mostly.. heading to town shortly to pick up something last minute for my brother, and praying I can get what I want because some stuff I ordered for him from England is in the island but unavailable because the freight place is closed today (typical Jersey style!) and no one was home when they tried to deliver stuff yesterday.. ho hum, I guess he’ll get that belatedly on Tuesday or Wednesday then..

What else have we been up to? Hmm.. We went swimming the other day at the Aqua Splash place, which was really good fun.. wasn’t very busy, not too many screaming kids.. just me screaming on one of the water slides.. allegedly.. not that I’d ever admit to it.. oh wait, I just did..

Saw Glen and Rebecca the other night too.. we met up and went to the movies to see The Family Stone. Not bad, not great.. it wasn’t quite as the trailers make it out to be.. I’d probably give it a 6 (and IMDB currently rates it 5.8 out of 10, so I’m in good company).

Went shopping yesterday, got a new winter coat.. and a mobile phone magazine - I’m debating getting a new phone while I’m over here (or in the UK) but don’t know if I want/need one. My current phone (Nokia 6610) is 3 years old (I got it last time I was home for Christmas!). It works well, I’m happy with it, but Brian reckon’s maybe the time’s come for something new. There’s a nice Sony Ericsson (K750i or W800i aka Walkman Phone) that seems quite cool, but I’d be abandoning my life-long allegience to the house of Nokia. The alternatives are a Nokia N70, or a 6680 maybe, I just don’t know. The other alternative is something like the HP iPAQ 6515 which is a PDA with in-built GSM phone. My dad’s got one, it seems pretty neat, you can sort your contacts, tasks/to-do list, notes, email on the go (if you don’t mind getting shafted for GPRS charges). It’s got a GPS thing built in (for when you get lost and/or need directions). No Wi-Fi but you can add it with a little plug in adaptor thing.. but the question is: would I actually use it? And isn’t it a bit big/bulky for a phone?

Ugh, who knows?! Maybe I’ll stick with my 6610 - better the devil you know and all that.. after all, it works, it’s small/pocket sized, the battery’s decent.. Hmm.. Jared - got any comments? *bows to he who knows all about phones*.

Right.. blog done (well, partially updated).. Brian’s finished his wrapping.. we’re off to town! (”town” - how quaint!)

Ok, so it wasn’t quite the flight from hell, but it was pretty bad…

It all starts when we get to the check in desk at Vancouver International Airport.. ah, YVR, how I love thee.. The woman tip tip types away and prints our boarding passes.. then realises that they’re not adjacent.. in fact, they’re nowhere near each other! Now I can see how that might be beneficial if you’re a family of 4, at each others throats, and feeling more frantic than festive.. But this was not the case here - we actually wanted to sit together!

She umms and ahhs and types the same thing in to the computer a whole bunch of times.. I ask if there’s a problem.. apparently, seat 2H is showing as reserved and she can’t change it. Relevance? It’s meant to be my seat - along with 2G.. We end up getting moved to row 41, which isn’t the biggest deal in the world, but the point was we’d paid extra for assigned seating and now we’re sitting somewhere else.. oh well, something else to add to the refund they’ve already said they’re giving us for having changed the aircraft and not having premium class available on the flight any more.

Finally we’re sorted, boarding passes in hand.. we hang out with Josh for a bit (he took us to the airport - star!) then say our goodbyes and head through security.. I feel I should tangent here briefly to talk about security and what a joke it is.. like, seriously.. if “those people” are determined enough, they’re gonna do what they’re gonna do, right? Checking belt buckles with a metal detector and getting me to take my shoes off are more hassle and inconvenience than major leaps and improvements in security.. I’m sure my laptop security cable (twisted metal strands type thing) or even a decent length of dental floss would prove more risky (can you say “garotte”?).

Anyway.. flying economy sucks generally, but when the seat pitch is 30 inches (30 fucking inches! - Fuck, I’ve seen battery hens with more bloody leg room!), the drinks aren’t complimentary (not even soft drinks), the flight is over an hour late leaving, and the screaming kids just won’t stop screaming.. yeah, that pretty much makes for “the flight from hell” in my books!

The change of aircraft on the route meant the flight left late. It was going to be a tight squeeze in London to get the connecting flight on to Jersey. Leaving Vancouver late meant that we were probably going to miss our connecting flight. And we did. No biggy, we’ll upgrade to the next flight in 3 hours time right? Sure, for a £25 per person “change fee” coupled with a £87.50 “upgrade charge”. Holy fuck, did I just get bent over and shafted with a traffic cone?! Isn’t that price pretty close to the full fare ticket price? Apparently not, that would be closer to £140 each I’m told.. Yeah right!

But.. whatever.. point was, we got here. In one piece. Knackered and a bit out of sorts, sure, but we got here. The big questions right now are how do we sort out an insurance claim for the extra cash I’ve had to fork out, and is it worth switching to a regular airline for the return flight, not some cheapy charter with shite service and crap seats? I’m thinking it is.. just have to see how it works with refunds from the original place + insurance coverage etc.. gotta love long haul flights.. NOT!